Some people deal with unfulfilled expectations and tragic losses on a daily basis; for example, a mother that has lost a child. More often, it is an accumulation of “little foxes” that threaten to pull us under. For example, take frustration. Today I read that frustration results from unfulfilled expectations. You tell yourself that things should be different from what they really are.*
Until I read that statement, I hadn’t made a connect between “my frustration” and “my expectation” or unfulfilled expectations. When a meeting started twenty-five minutes later than planned, I used to get frustrated and occasionally still do. Slowly, over time, I am learning to “chill” and ask myself, “Will this matter five years from now?” Chances are by next week, I will have forgotten about the late start.
Now, with this new nugget of information that connects “frustration” with “expectation,” I have a clear indicator that shows me when I am living in a fantasy world; that is, I am not seeing the world as it really is. In this state, I lose my sense of peace.
Catch us the foxes, the little foxes that spoil the vines, for our vines have tender grapes (Song of Solomon 2:15).
And look what happens when “the little foxes spoil the vines”? The “fruit” is in danger or gobbled up. If frustration is robbing you of peace in your heart and mind, better to take a deep breath and enjoy the “fruit of the vine.”
* David d. Burns, M.D., The Feeling Good Handbook, page 5. New York NY: Penguin Group, 1999.